The Anger Before The Sorrow
By Tina Gilson
I recently read a piece about the volva, female spiritual leaders in Viking society. For those who are unfamiliar with the volva, they were the most respected women in their communities and considered more powerful than the warriors. To say they were revered would be an understatement.
This piece talked specifically about ceremonies that they held specifically for women who were drowning in their sadness. Who couldn’t stop crying without knowing why they were doing it. There was no clear cause for the sorrow, such a loss of a loved one. This is something we may consider depression today. However, they came to realize it wasn’t sadness. It was actually suppressed anger.
The anger came before the tears. Someone, somewhere along the way, taught these women that anger wasn’t allowed, so her body converted it to sadness. She developed depression, anxiety and exhaustion. The volva didn’t treat depression, anxiety or depression, however. They dove straight into the anger underneath it.
In 2020, Yale’s Department of Psychiatry confirmed what the volvas knew all along. They discovered that 74% of women with treatment-resisitent depression was driven by suppressed anger. Not sadness, but rage. This fury had been rerouted inward for various reasons, not uncommonly the discomfort or dismissal from others. Their anger was “too much” for others to handle, and so it was transformed into more palatable for others.
In only four sessions, researchers discovered a 71% decrease in depression scores without medication changes. Anger was accessed and discharged within three sessions. Recovery moved five times faster than it did with people in an antidepressant group. The medication was masking the symptoms, but not solving the problem. It was getting rid of the smoke, not the fire.
I have had a lot of rage in the past. Justifiable anger from traumatizing sources. Having done a tremendous amount of work on that rage, I often share with clients ways to release their own hurt and anger. (Almost always, the source underneath anger is pain) Facing the truth in our feelings is essential in feeling better.
A good place to start is asking yourself what you were not allowed to feel angry about, but you do. Name the anger and sit with it. From that point, there are many ways you can start to release it and begin to heal. Write everything you feel and have experienced on a piece of paper and truly FEEL it. When you are ready, burn it and as the smoke rises, envision that pain leaving you. Fill the void with love and light. You can go into the woods and scream. Jump into an ice cold stream or lake and let the shock release the pain from you. Whatever works for you, try it.
Remember, feelings aren’t wrong. They are real and they are valid. But they aren’t all comfortable. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel, but you are also allowed to let go of what doesn’t serve you.
Sacred Spirit Wellness is located at The Hive Wellness Collaborative, 21 Barton Street in Bradford, VT. They can be reached via email at sacredspiritwellness1@gmail.com, on their Facebook page or www.sacredspiritwellness.com